Alligator Handbags

Let’s talk about privileges. In class, we had a discussion on what is nature and what is natural, which led into a discussion of the privileges among our society. The interesting comment of alligator handbags came up by one of my classmates and it got the wheels in my head turning. Let’s think about some of the other obscene privileges and ridiculous trends that our society has come to embrace and love. These inventions and miscellaneous items are not to be taken to heart as useless or meaningless, because, let’s face it, we all need portable purse hangers for our desks and hats that hold multiple beers to satisfy our excessive drinking habits. So here’s a few “privileges” or otherwise pointless creations that make our every day American lives easier:

Umbrella hats: Good thing your head isn’t getting wet! What about the rest of you?

Sporks: The invention of the spork is truly brilliant. The creative balance of spoon and fork make for a more well-oiled eating experience at your local Taco Bell. How could anyone eat their cheesy fiesta potatoes with just a spoon OR a fork? That question is beyond me.

Phone Kick Stands: This handy device would have not even been known to me if I had not been at the bar the other night and a lonely looking gentleman pulls out his Smartphone, kicks out the stand, and starts watching a TV show. Seriously? One, why would you come to a bar to watch That 70’s Show? And two, why the hell does your phone have a kick stand?

Bump-Its: Not everyone can master the “poof” as well as Snooki on their own, so Bump-Its were brought into the picture to allow for the perfect hair style. No more struggling for hours to get complete symmetry in your “bump,” just slip the Bump-It in and you’re set!

Heated Driveways/Tiles: There are two words that can substitute for this energy inefficient and frankly lazy creation: salt and shoves. The use of these two things, when combine, make for an excellent way to diminish the fallen snow and ice and defeat the feat of winter. Another alternative, although not as rustic as the good ‘ol shove would be a snow blower or snow plow. Any of these substitutions would work great in replace of a heated driveway. And as for heated tiles, socks and/or slippers are great for the task of keeping your feet warm.

Hair extensions: I myself have purple and green hair extensions, so this is in no way saying that they are pointless. They obviously serve crucial fashion purposes and add spice to the perfect outfit. No, they’re not meaningless by any means. Of course, there are those girls, and guys for that matter, that would just love their short, bobbed hair to transform into long, luscious locks by the snap of a clip. For both these reasons, trendy accessory and compensatory device, hair extensions are absolutely necessary.

These are just a few pointless/meaningless creations.